That was a phrase that I chanted back in middle school while my arms were locked across each other as I was squeezing my arms...where the hell did it come from you ask, I have no idea. It was probably something my older brothers encouraged me to say in hopes of enlarging my "breast buds." That is what they referred to them as. I guess because they hadn't blossomed into "real" breasts yet. One of the 101 reasons it was so awesome having 2 older brothers...(sarcasm). I'm not sure what was better their endless unwanted comments about my body, or them holding me down trying to put snuff in my lip...sorry I didn't mean to get off topic.
Anyway, I remember going to Wal-Mart when I was about 10 years old with my mom and picking out my first bra(s), one was pink and the other one was blue. They were training bras (no under wire or anything fancy), and I thought they were wonderful. I was so excited about wearing them! Fast forward to high school when I reached first base and my boyfriend caressed my breast. I thought it was so exciting. Even though I was barely an A cup...it was the excitement of the whole thing. I have never been much larger than an A cup. During the end of high school through my college years I was a full B (but that's because I was about 40 pounds heavier than I am now, so obviously some of that weight stuck around in my chest area). Even when my milk came in I was a large B (maybe a small small C) Since then I have lost weight, breast fed 2 children (for a combination of 12 months) and lost even more weight...now I have sockets, empty bags where my breasts were and should be now. There are a few benefits of having no breasts. When I was 10 it was exciting to wear a bra, now that I am 29 that's the first thing that comes off when I get home from work (and somethings I don't even wear one..shhh) I'm only half kidding. I don't wear one when "it's included" in my outfit, you know the built in camis for example. Ok, so not having to wear a bra is a pro...even when I run I don't need one, not sure if that is a good practice, but regardless it's still a pro in my book.
And that's the only pro I can think of. A friend of mine texted me a picture of her breasts the other day (sounds weird when I write that, but she's one of my bffs and I literally laughed out loud). My reply was "hold on and I'll text you a picture of my nipples.) Yes, I look like a 12 year old boy when I lift up my arms. It's not exciting to have them caressed anymore because a year ago Mia was sucking on them for hours a day. Since my breasts have fed children it's hard to think about them pre-baby, pre-nourishment. Hopefully other women reading this can relate.
So, what am I suppose to do? Be thankful that I'm saving all this money because I don't have to buy bras, or invest in a chest? I don't want anything extravagant, large B maybe. I just want more than nipples. Jorge says if I am going to get implants, then I need to really get implants...typical man. I don't think Pamela Anderson's breasts would look normal on my frame, and I don't want them banging me in the head when I run. What do you think? Is it a must to increase my bust?
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
Running Girl
Ahhh vacation, I finally get to catch up on my blogging. This entry is not only about running, it's about dedication. About 2 months after Mia was born I took up running. I had never ran a day in my life...well I tried out for 8th grade track (800 meter), but my knocked knees didn't get me too far and I didn't even last the entire season.
People always tell me I walk fast, "mall walker" fast, (okay maybe faster than that). A friend of mine at work even calls me Speedy Gonzales, but I couldn't run half a mile to save my life. Here I am over a year later and I have ran 5ks, 10ks and I just ran 10.5 miles last weekend in preparation for my first half marathon next month!! I couldn't believe it, I didn't stop once. My legs felt like jello afterward, and I still feel like I have been hit by a mac truck, but I did it!!! When will my legs stop being so sore from it...I wonder.
Running is my me time. I didn't even know what "me" time was until I had children. Every minute of every day was me time. I could start drinking happy hour with friends at 3:30, I could take a 2 hour nap on the weekend if I wanted too, I could shop (and not just online). Now, I can't even go to the restroom without Hudson asking me what I am doing, and Mia standing there watching me. When I run I jam out to some Ke$ha just loudly enough so I can still hear my feet hitting the pavement and all of my endless thoughts running through my mind. I can run off those greasy beef enchiladas and chips and salsa and not feel so guilty about eating some more the next day.
I wish I would have picked up this habit before I was 29 years, but like they say, "better late than never." I don't know how long I will continue to run. But it is addicting, and I love to eat. So I have a feeling I will be a running girl for awhile.
People always tell me I walk fast, "mall walker" fast, (okay maybe faster than that). A friend of mine at work even calls me Speedy Gonzales, but I couldn't run half a mile to save my life. Here I am over a year later and I have ran 5ks, 10ks and I just ran 10.5 miles last weekend in preparation for my first half marathon next month!! I couldn't believe it, I didn't stop once. My legs felt like jello afterward, and I still feel like I have been hit by a mac truck, but I did it!!! When will my legs stop being so sore from it...I wonder.
Running is my me time. I didn't even know what "me" time was until I had children. Every minute of every day was me time. I could start drinking happy hour with friends at 3:30, I could take a 2 hour nap on the weekend if I wanted too, I could shop (and not just online). Now, I can't even go to the restroom without Hudson asking me what I am doing, and Mia standing there watching me. When I run I jam out to some Ke$ha just loudly enough so I can still hear my feet hitting the pavement and all of my endless thoughts running through my mind. I can run off those greasy beef enchiladas and chips and salsa and not feel so guilty about eating some more the next day.
I wish I would have picked up this habit before I was 29 years, but like they say, "better late than never." I don't know how long I will continue to run. But it is addicting, and I love to eat. So I have a feeling I will be a running girl for awhile.
Friday, September 16, 2011
A parent's worse nightmare
Sunday, September 11, Hudson woke up from his nap at 4:00 with a 103 degree fever so we gave him some medicine. Our friends and his play date were already on their way over so when they arrived he played with Kaleb like he always does (he loves him). Our friends left that night and the next morning before work I checked Hud's temp at 6:00 and it was still 103, so I gave him some medicine and put a cool wash cloth over his head and rechecked it at 8:00, by then it was 100. I stayed home that morning and went into work at 11. Hud's fever had broken by then and he looked fine. Jorge stayed home with him and his fever came and went throughout the day.
Hud went to bed that night at 8 and Jorge slept with him to keep an eye on him. At 3:30 that morning I hear Jorge yelling, "he's not moving, he's not breathing." He had had a seizure. He had carried Hudson to the hallway and he looked dead. He was lifeless with his eyes closed and it wasn't responding to his name or us. Jorge started CPR and I called 911. It was like a movie, me yelling to 911 my address and phone number and having to repeat it because I was talking too fast. I told them my 3 year old boy wasn't breathing and to hurry. The operator tried to get me to remain calm and I remember telling Jorge you can do it babe! I lifted Hud's arm and it flopped down-he looked pale. I tried to give him CPR I could feel his breath and saw his chest moving, but he still wasn't responding to us. The ambulance arrived in 12 mins (I know that because I looked at how long I had been on the phone). It felt like forever. He came to the top of the stairs and carried Hud down, by the time they got outside Hudson opened his eyes!! They asked us if we wanted them to take him to the ER, but we said we would take him.
So, at 3:30 that morning we took him to Northeast Memorial Hermann. They checked his vitals then moved us into a room for 2.5 hours where they did NOTHING. A PA came in there and checked his ears and throat and then the doctor came in there and said he had had a feribral seizure caused by high fever. He still had a fever when we arrived, yet while we were there they did NO tests or took and blood...NOTHING. We discharged ourselves around 5:30 that morning and went to our pediatrician appointment that we already had scheduled for that morning at 10:00. It wasn't Hud's doctor, but it was in the same building because ours was booked. He checked his vitals and thought he was getting an ear infection in his right ear (even though the 2 previous doctors at 5:00 that morning didn't say that). He put him on some antibiotics and wanted to get some blood work done. So, we went to Quest on Wednesday and took some blood. They called me Thursday afternoon and said Hud had Leukopenia (a very low white blood cell count). A normal range would have been 5-7,000 and his was 1,000. They also said he was dehydrated. They wanted us to go to the Children's Hospital downtown for further testing. I am crying, thinking this can't be happening. I call my mom and Jorge and we pick up Hud and take him downtown. We arrive at 4:00 and aren't seen by a doctor until 8:30 (FOUR AND A HALF HOURS LATER!!) He is confused as to why we even had blood work done for low white cell count in the first place and tells us that Hud looks fine, he's just got a viral infection. He didn't know how they would know Hud was dehydrated if they didn't do a urine test. He reassured us that Hud seemed by (just by looking at him, again NO tests). I told him that I waited 4.5 hours for a doctor so I expected some kind of relief. He said he could do a blood test again but we might not like the results because he was sick and they could still be low. He also said he could do an Electrolyte test to see if he seemed dehydrated. We decided against the tests. By this time it was past 10, Hud was asleep, we were exhausted and initially he didn't seem to think we needed further testing. We told him we would get the blood work done with our doctor later this week. We discharged ourselves and got home around 11:30.
I wake up the next morning and the nurse had called upset that we didn't get any more tests done last night and wanted us to go get more blood work done this morning. I explained to her what had happened and she still encouraged the blood work. So, I woke Hud up this morning and 9 and we went and got more blood work and are currently waiting for the results.
Thank you everyone who has been praying for us. This has been a very stressful time in our lives. They say the loss of a children is the greatest loss. Jorge and I were closer to that feeling then I ever thought we would be. Seeing Hud lying there lifeless was the most difficult thing I have ever seen or experienced. I NEVER thought we would go through that. For those of you reading this who have experienced the same thing I know you understand.
I look at my children in a completely different way now. He has been sleeping with us and I have been watching him sleep. I never thought watching someone breathe could feel sooooo good.
Hud went to bed that night at 8 and Jorge slept with him to keep an eye on him. At 3:30 that morning I hear Jorge yelling, "he's not moving, he's not breathing." He had had a seizure. He had carried Hudson to the hallway and he looked dead. He was lifeless with his eyes closed and it wasn't responding to his name or us. Jorge started CPR and I called 911. It was like a movie, me yelling to 911 my address and phone number and having to repeat it because I was talking too fast. I told them my 3 year old boy wasn't breathing and to hurry. The operator tried to get me to remain calm and I remember telling Jorge you can do it babe! I lifted Hud's arm and it flopped down-he looked pale. I tried to give him CPR I could feel his breath and saw his chest moving, but he still wasn't responding to us. The ambulance arrived in 12 mins (I know that because I looked at how long I had been on the phone). It felt like forever. He came to the top of the stairs and carried Hud down, by the time they got outside Hudson opened his eyes!! They asked us if we wanted them to take him to the ER, but we said we would take him.
So, at 3:30 that morning we took him to Northeast Memorial Hermann. They checked his vitals then moved us into a room for 2.5 hours where they did NOTHING. A PA came in there and checked his ears and throat and then the doctor came in there and said he had had a feribral seizure caused by high fever. He still had a fever when we arrived, yet while we were there they did NO tests or took and blood...NOTHING. We discharged ourselves around 5:30 that morning and went to our pediatrician appointment that we already had scheduled for that morning at 10:00. It wasn't Hud's doctor, but it was in the same building because ours was booked. He checked his vitals and thought he was getting an ear infection in his right ear (even though the 2 previous doctors at 5:00 that morning didn't say that). He put him on some antibiotics and wanted to get some blood work done. So, we went to Quest on Wednesday and took some blood. They called me Thursday afternoon and said Hud had Leukopenia (a very low white blood cell count). A normal range would have been 5-7,000 and his was 1,000. They also said he was dehydrated. They wanted us to go to the Children's Hospital downtown for further testing. I am crying, thinking this can't be happening. I call my mom and Jorge and we pick up Hud and take him downtown. We arrive at 4:00 and aren't seen by a doctor until 8:30 (FOUR AND A HALF HOURS LATER!!) He is confused as to why we even had blood work done for low white cell count in the first place and tells us that Hud looks fine, he's just got a viral infection. He didn't know how they would know Hud was dehydrated if they didn't do a urine test. He reassured us that Hud seemed by (just by looking at him, again NO tests). I told him that I waited 4.5 hours for a doctor so I expected some kind of relief. He said he could do a blood test again but we might not like the results because he was sick and they could still be low. He also said he could do an Electrolyte test to see if he seemed dehydrated. We decided against the tests. By this time it was past 10, Hud was asleep, we were exhausted and initially he didn't seem to think we needed further testing. We told him we would get the blood work done with our doctor later this week. We discharged ourselves and got home around 11:30.
I wake up the next morning and the nurse had called upset that we didn't get any more tests done last night and wanted us to go get more blood work done this morning. I explained to her what had happened and she still encouraged the blood work. So, I woke Hud up this morning and 9 and we went and got more blood work and are currently waiting for the results.
Thank you everyone who has been praying for us. This has been a very stressful time in our lives. They say the loss of a children is the greatest loss. Jorge and I were closer to that feeling then I ever thought we would be. Seeing Hud lying there lifeless was the most difficult thing I have ever seen or experienced. I NEVER thought we would go through that. For those of you reading this who have experienced the same thing I know you understand.
I look at my children in a completely different way now. He has been sleeping with us and I have been watching him sleep. I never thought watching someone breathe could feel sooooo good.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Lotions and Potions and Creams, oh my!!
I have never been one to wear make-up (well unless it's a special occasion, ie: prom, wedding, etc). I never really thought I needed it, and more importantly it takes time away from my Zzz's. No makeup= at least 15-20 more minutes of sleep. But as I get older and am heading out of my 20's I seem to be using a cream, lotion, or some sort of potion for EVERYTHING. I have to moisturize my face daily, it can be very dry. I use Clinque, it's magic. Once it hits your face it feels so good! Then of course your everyday lotion that you put on your arms and legs so you don't look ashy, especially in the winter, good grief! Some of my black students from last year pointed out how ashy I was, damn that is bad. I also have crow's feet (laugh lines, whatever you want to call them, those damn lines by my eyes that shouldn't be there yet)! There's a lotion for that, but make sure you apply it twice a day for the best results. And yes it's worth the $70 I spent on it. Either they are getting less noticeable or I just think they are so that I don't feel so guilty about spending those Benjamins on it. I have stretch marks on my ass from stretching from big to small multiple times. There's an oil for that, but make sure you apply it twice a day in a circular motion for at least 3 months before you start to notice a difference...really? How many bottles will I go through if I follow those strict instructions? I don't remember to put that on half the time. I mean I'm not an idiot. I don't think they are going to magically disappear. Houdini isn't in that bottle, but a little fading would be nice.
The other day I was pointing out to Jorge how many freckles I had gotten. He said, "yeah women get more freckles as they get older. My mom has them on her hands too." Um...those are age spots Jorge, there is a difference. Shit, and then it hit me. Age spots on your hands, of course. Hands are a huge indicator of a woman's age. Look at Jennifer Aniston's hands next time you see her...OLD woman hands! Hot body, OLD hands. Damn, I should have been wearing lotion on my hands protected by some special latex clothes to prevent this from happening to me...What am I suppose to do for the rest of my life? Should I continue to lotion up with a different cream all over my body for the next 60+ years or embrace my wrinkles and all of my other imperfections? Neither one of those options sounds too appealing. I just have to remember that I have laugh lines because I have laughed and stretch marks because I have mothered 2 beautiful children. And yes I will get age spots as I age which will remind me of my past. Life is too short to be so vain. And all of these lotions and potions are interfering with the extra Zzz's I could be getting.
The other day I was pointing out to Jorge how many freckles I had gotten. He said, "yeah women get more freckles as they get older. My mom has them on her hands too." Um...those are age spots Jorge, there is a difference. Shit, and then it hit me. Age spots on your hands, of course. Hands are a huge indicator of a woman's age. Look at Jennifer Aniston's hands next time you see her...OLD woman hands! Hot body, OLD hands. Damn, I should have been wearing lotion on my hands protected by some special latex clothes to prevent this from happening to me...What am I suppose to do for the rest of my life? Should I continue to lotion up with a different cream all over my body for the next 60+ years or embrace my wrinkles and all of my other imperfections? Neither one of those options sounds too appealing. I just have to remember that I have laugh lines because I have laughed and stretch marks because I have mothered 2 beautiful children. And yes I will get age spots as I age which will remind me of my past. Life is too short to be so vain. And all of these lotions and potions are interfering with the extra Zzz's I could be getting.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Married With Children
I have recently been hanging out with D.I.N.K (dual income no kids) couples and I wanted to share the vast difference between them and me. If you don't have children you probably won't find this comical or even relate. If you do have children and don't relate maybe I am just weird (er) than I thought.
1. My friend, *Whitney has the most amazing bras and underwear I have ever seen. They are the pretty Victoria Secret silky, lacy, hand wash only kind. I have the Hanes Her Way grandma panties with holes in them and a (one) white bra with under wire that doesn't even mold to the shape of my breasts anymore. After hanging out with her I cleaned out my underwear drawer and have been left with one pair...I must go shopping soon.
2. Another friend, *Rebecca told me she has the most amazing sex life. She said she can't even be on top, because he is, and I quote, "too big." WOW!! I'm sure they have a very active sex life and I am extremely happy for them. However, when you have 2 small children you want to sleep in your "free" time not do the nasty. Every month I pray that I start my period for 2 reasons:
#1 it means that I am not pregnant again, whew!
#2 it means I have a legitimate excuse to not have sex for a few days. There's only so many times you can tell your husband you are tired without him getting pissed off at you. And if you're really lucky he won't remember if you've already had your period that month and you can"pull that card" twice.
3. Their (friends w/o kids) ability to "hang" is also amazing. They can run on no sleep and don't require naps. I stay up past 10 p.m and I am dragging ass the next day. If I stay up and drink it is even WORSE. Why? Because I can't sleep off hangovers anymore. I have a 3 year old (literally) alarm clock who comes in my room every morning at 7, like clock work and says, "mommy it's not dark anymore, I'm awake!" I can't wait until he's a teenager and realizes that it's okay to sleep even when it's "sunny" outside.
I partied with a friend for her birthday recently until 5:30 in the morning and still woke up at 7:30 because that's my "mental alarm clock." What kind of crap is that? I can't catch a break. I felt like shit until about 2 p.m. While my friend, *Whitney, felt like a champion.
Look at the time, it's 2:41 time for a nap....
*Names have been changed to protect friend's identities.
1. My friend, *Whitney has the most amazing bras and underwear I have ever seen. They are the pretty Victoria Secret silky, lacy, hand wash only kind. I have the Hanes Her Way grandma panties with holes in them and a (one) white bra with under wire that doesn't even mold to the shape of my breasts anymore. After hanging out with her I cleaned out my underwear drawer and have been left with one pair...I must go shopping soon.
2. Another friend, *Rebecca told me she has the most amazing sex life. She said she can't even be on top, because he is, and I quote, "too big." WOW!! I'm sure they have a very active sex life and I am extremely happy for them. However, when you have 2 small children you want to sleep in your "free" time not do the nasty. Every month I pray that I start my period for 2 reasons:
#1 it means that I am not pregnant again, whew!
#2 it means I have a legitimate excuse to not have sex for a few days. There's only so many times you can tell your husband you are tired without him getting pissed off at you. And if you're really lucky he won't remember if you've already had your period that month and you can"pull that card" twice.
3. Their (friends w/o kids) ability to "hang" is also amazing. They can run on no sleep and don't require naps. I stay up past 10 p.m and I am dragging ass the next day. If I stay up and drink it is even WORSE. Why? Because I can't sleep off hangovers anymore. I have a 3 year old (literally) alarm clock who comes in my room every morning at 7, like clock work and says, "mommy it's not dark anymore, I'm awake!" I can't wait until he's a teenager and realizes that it's okay to sleep even when it's "sunny" outside.
I partied with a friend for her birthday recently until 5:30 in the morning and still woke up at 7:30 because that's my "mental alarm clock." What kind of crap is that? I can't catch a break. I felt like shit until about 2 p.m. While my friend, *Whitney, felt like a champion.
Look at the time, it's 2:41 time for a nap....
*Names have been changed to protect friend's identities.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
My Charlie Sheen Review
Months ago when Charlie Sheen was on every T.V channel, TMZ, Dateline, Entertainment Tonight, the news...etc Jorge and I got a kick out of listening to the crazy crap coming out of his mouth. It was weird, off the wall, but yet honest...I guess
When I heard he was coming to Houston I had to get tickets. I wanted to surprise Jorge, but ended up telling him 2 days later that I had bought them. I have never been the best at keeping surprises a secret.
He couldn't believe I had wasted my money on them and that was the consensus of pretty much everyone else that I told. "They were free, right?" "You paid how much for those." "You want to see that train wreck?" Yes I did. I was very curious (and so were many others, most of his shows sold out quickly).
Anyway, flash forward to April 26, the big night, Charlie Sheen live at the Verizon Wireless Theater. I was super stoked. Jorge and I have had about 2 date nights since Hudson was born. Lady Antebellum and...well maybe it has been one. Anyway, I got all sexy and Jorge got all handsome and we headed to the Verizon Wireless Theater not knowing what to expect. Previous reviews had not been good. And reviews I had read earlier that day said Charlie had been starting about 30 minutes late...what a dick move, like our time's not valuable or something.
So, we get there in what we thought was plenty of time. But there is a huge line wrapped around the building with people asking,"is this the line if you already have your tickets"...yes, this is the line (and don't try to cut, thank you).
We walk through the doors about 8:15 and Jorge goes and gets us a round of drinks (I could have bought a bottle of wine for what a small glass cost...how do they get away with such robbery?) I found our seats and we waited until about 8:30 for Charlie to make his grand entrance.
He goes through the crowds of people below and touches everyone's hands and makes his way on stage wearing an Astro's jersey (that he later gives to a woman celebrating her b-day). Underneath that he is wearing a UH t-shirt (that he later gives to a baseball player for UH who has cancer). And underneath that he is wearing his famous, "winning" t-shirt. He rants and rambles on about running for president to how it sucks getting fired. His thoughts aren't organized and neither is he...I'm sitting there hoping things can only get better, and then they do. Jeffery Ross (the Roast Master from Comedy Central) comes out on stage and welcomes all of us, the enablers, and roasts Charlie to a crisp. The roast lasted 30-45 minutes I would say. That Jeffery Ross is very quick witted, I like him:
"Charlie came to Texas thinking it was the Pone Star State"
"How do you roast a melt down?"
"If Charlie's winning we must not be talking about a custody battle"
"The only 2.5 men I know are the ones who were left in his Detroit audience"
Jorge and I were having a blast. Random women flashed their boobs in the audience and Charlie ended the show with a Q&A from the audience. The show ended a little after 10:00 and we were home about 10:30. All in all it was a great night.
When I heard he was coming to Houston I had to get tickets. I wanted to surprise Jorge, but ended up telling him 2 days later that I had bought them. I have never been the best at keeping surprises a secret.
He couldn't believe I had wasted my money on them and that was the consensus of pretty much everyone else that I told. "They were free, right?" "You paid how much for those." "You want to see that train wreck?" Yes I did. I was very curious (and so were many others, most of his shows sold out quickly).
Anyway, flash forward to April 26, the big night, Charlie Sheen live at the Verizon Wireless Theater. I was super stoked. Jorge and I have had about 2 date nights since Hudson was born. Lady Antebellum and...well maybe it has been one. Anyway, I got all sexy and Jorge got all handsome and we headed to the Verizon Wireless Theater not knowing what to expect. Previous reviews had not been good. And reviews I had read earlier that day said Charlie had been starting about 30 minutes late...what a dick move, like our time's not valuable or something.
So, we get there in what we thought was plenty of time. But there is a huge line wrapped around the building with people asking,"is this the line if you already have your tickets"...yes, this is the line (and don't try to cut, thank you).
We walk through the doors about 8:15 and Jorge goes and gets us a round of drinks (I could have bought a bottle of wine for what a small glass cost...how do they get away with such robbery?) I found our seats and we waited until about 8:30 for Charlie to make his grand entrance.
He goes through the crowds of people below and touches everyone's hands and makes his way on stage wearing an Astro's jersey (that he later gives to a woman celebrating her b-day). Underneath that he is wearing a UH t-shirt (that he later gives to a baseball player for UH who has cancer). And underneath that he is wearing his famous, "winning" t-shirt. He rants and rambles on about running for president to how it sucks getting fired. His thoughts aren't organized and neither is he...I'm sitting there hoping things can only get better, and then they do. Jeffery Ross (the Roast Master from Comedy Central) comes out on stage and welcomes all of us, the enablers, and roasts Charlie to a crisp. The roast lasted 30-45 minutes I would say. That Jeffery Ross is very quick witted, I like him:
"Charlie came to Texas thinking it was the Pone Star State"
"How do you roast a melt down?"
"If Charlie's winning we must not be talking about a custody battle"
"The only 2.5 men I know are the ones who were left in his Detroit audience"
Jorge and I were having a blast. Random women flashed their boobs in the audience and Charlie ended the show with a Q&A from the audience. The show ended a little after 10:00 and we were home about 10:30. All in all it was a great night.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
They pee standing up...and other things that piss me off about men
Men have it too easy-
I have always been envious that men can pee while standing up. Have you? Do you know how many times it would have been easier if I would have had that choice?? Pulling over on the side of the road when you know there is no gas station for miles, outside at a party when you are too lazy to go inside, drunk (well you can think of many different situations for this one). Woman have to squat in these situations and it usually runs down our leg, or even better our favorite pair of jeans (or shoes). Men just flip it out and flip it back in, what's up with that? Can you imagine men wiping after they pee? Funny mental picture isn't it? The majority of them probably don't even wash their hands. Can you imagine a lady wiping her vagina without toilet paper and not washing her hands? I think not.
The term Silver Fox-an older man with gray hair, so sexy- a little salt and pepper. A woman with gray hair is just old, there is no "endearing" term for her, old fart or old maid maybe?? I get a gray hair and freak out, frantically searching for my tweezers. Jorge gets one and I think...hmm that's kind of hot?
Men in general age better than women. We have been together for 7+ years, I have crow's feet, laugh lines and hair growing where it shouldn't. Jorge has skin like a baby's butt, no wrinkles, and he's getting hotter with age-WTH???
Fitness-We all know men and women have different metabolisms. Jorge eats a super size hamburger and french fries at midnight and loses a pound the next day. I only smelled his order while munching on some apple dippers and gained 5 pounds...how is it possible? I have been running for months trying to prepare for my 5K then my 10K. Jorge puts on running shoes a total of 3 times and beats me by 5 minutes in our 10K...what is the deal? He's like a superhero!
And don't even get me started on pregnancy and birthing a 7+ pound baby out of (well a very small space) that never quite seems to be the same. Could a man do that? Of course not! Does a man have to feel insecure while gaining all of that extra weight and adult acne and stretch marks and cellulite and having their hormones go completely out of control??? No. Do they have to have a visit from "Aunt Flo" every month? No. Do they think we are bitchy and hormonal and in reality have no idea what it's like to be a woman? yes!
Shaving and other unwanted hair is another issue I would like to discuss. Woman go in for eye brow waxes, no big deal right? How cool do you think we feel when we go in asking for a "stache" wax? Or even better, we're getting our eye brows done and the sweet Asian lady asks if we want to be "de-stached." Um..yes please. If you can notice it I guess it's time to remove it. We have to shave our legs, our arm pits and even our toes (yes, everyone shaves their big toe, don't deny it).
Is any lady out there relating to my rants?? Men have it so much easier then we do. So the next time you get in an argument with your man just remind them at least they can pee while standing up. =)
I have always been envious that men can pee while standing up. Have you? Do you know how many times it would have been easier if I would have had that choice?? Pulling over on the side of the road when you know there is no gas station for miles, outside at a party when you are too lazy to go inside, drunk (well you can think of many different situations for this one). Woman have to squat in these situations and it usually runs down our leg, or even better our favorite pair of jeans (or shoes). Men just flip it out and flip it back in, what's up with that? Can you imagine men wiping after they pee? Funny mental picture isn't it? The majority of them probably don't even wash their hands. Can you imagine a lady wiping her vagina without toilet paper and not washing her hands? I think not.
The term Silver Fox-an older man with gray hair, so sexy- a little salt and pepper. A woman with gray hair is just old, there is no "endearing" term for her, old fart or old maid maybe?? I get a gray hair and freak out, frantically searching for my tweezers. Jorge gets one and I think...hmm that's kind of hot?
Men in general age better than women. We have been together for 7+ years, I have crow's feet, laugh lines and hair growing where it shouldn't. Jorge has skin like a baby's butt, no wrinkles, and he's getting hotter with age-WTH???
Fitness-We all know men and women have different metabolisms. Jorge eats a super size hamburger and french fries at midnight and loses a pound the next day. I only smelled his order while munching on some apple dippers and gained 5 pounds...how is it possible? I have been running for months trying to prepare for my 5K then my 10K. Jorge puts on running shoes a total of 3 times and beats me by 5 minutes in our 10K...what is the deal? He's like a superhero!
And don't even get me started on pregnancy and birthing a 7+ pound baby out of (well a very small space) that never quite seems to be the same. Could a man do that? Of course not! Does a man have to feel insecure while gaining all of that extra weight and adult acne and stretch marks and cellulite and having their hormones go completely out of control??? No. Do they have to have a visit from "Aunt Flo" every month? No. Do they think we are bitchy and hormonal and in reality have no idea what it's like to be a woman? yes!
Shaving and other unwanted hair is another issue I would like to discuss. Woman go in for eye brow waxes, no big deal right? How cool do you think we feel when we go in asking for a "stache" wax? Or even better, we're getting our eye brows done and the sweet Asian lady asks if we want to be "de-stached." Um..yes please. If you can notice it I guess it's time to remove it. We have to shave our legs, our arm pits and even our toes (yes, everyone shaves their big toe, don't deny it).
Is any lady out there relating to my rants?? Men have it so much easier then we do. So the next time you get in an argument with your man just remind them at least they can pee while standing up. =)
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Are we there yet?
Google maps said our Florida destination was about 10 hours, you're probably thinking," holy crap-with 2 small children, you are crazy!" Well tack on all the pit stops, diaper changes, heating up formula bottles, peeing, eating, resting... BUT we left Friday night at 7:30 and the kids slept the ENTIRE time. Yes I wrote that correctly. Pretty awesome huh? Well, not really because Jorge and I were so tired we had to pull over about 3-4 times and try to take a cat nap so we wouldn't fall asleep at the wheel. I can't really give myself any credit for getting us there. I think I only drove about 2 hours, but it was so dark and I was so tired-thanks Jorge I LOVE you for getting us there safely (there will be another shout out to Jorge in this entry).
So upon arrival at about 7:30 that morning we came to Hidden Dunes cottage. Have you ever found a place online and it looks beautiful, and then you see it in "real life" and you thank God you didn't bring a black light with you? There are stains on the carpet and you don't even want to sleep in that bed...well I have so I was hoping this place really looked liked the pictures online, and it was close enough. It was extremely spacious, about the size of our first house and had everything we needed. We beached it up almost the entire 5 days. I have always been a sun baby, for those of you that have known me since Summit Middle School days I practically lived at Tan and Tone America, sadly those days are over and I got extremely sunburned and my back looks like a reptile that is losing its old skin. No, I didn't use sun block like I should have...I know I did this to myself...blah blah blah...It was so uncomfortable two of the nights while trying to sleep. My body was super hot and itchy. It's all good now though and I look tan (sort of).
If you have ever been to the beach with kids you know you have A LOT more stuff to bring. Everyday we brought 2 folding chairs to sit on, an umbrella to sit under, a cooler with drinks, a beach bag with towels, sunblock, etc and all of Hud's sand toys (truck, shovel, pail, wheel barrow, sifter). This is where Jorge's other shout out is. Jorge carried all of that stuff EVERYDAY. I mean I carried the beach bag but I also had 18 pound Mia to carry too. So thanks babe, I LOVE you for that!
But if you have seen some of the pictures on FB you know the kids had a blast and that makes it all worth it. Mia had on SPF 50, her sunhat and clothes the entire time while sitting under an umbrella (we didn't want our white chocolate to get sunburned). She did escape though and crawl all over the beach and play with Hud, it was so sweet. Hud on the other hand was in the water and playing with his tools and truck the entire time. He also made different friends everyday who he played with (I hope he wasn't that annoying kid that every adult wishes would leave their child alone). Even if he was I won't admit it. He was entertained and enjoying himself, that's all that matters. And our little brown nugget came back even browner (he's definitely half Mexican).
When we weren't at the beach we went to Gulfarium, a very miniature Sea World without the rides, an arcade (where Hud won about 300 tickets), and a restaurant, Fuddpuckers with live alligators you could feed. We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves and it was nice to take a vacation with just the 4 of us.
We left at about 8:00 Thursday morning to head home. The drive home was not as quiet as the one there. Mia actually did better than Hudson. They watched a lot of Thomas the Train and we stopped in Louisiana for lunch. We pulled into our driveway about 9:30 that night, both kids sound asleep! My bed never felt so good. Will the kids have any memories of Spring Break 2011, maybe not. But mommy and daddy will and we have pictures for proof!
So upon arrival at about 7:30 that morning we came to Hidden Dunes cottage. Have you ever found a place online and it looks beautiful, and then you see it in "real life" and you thank God you didn't bring a black light with you? There are stains on the carpet and you don't even want to sleep in that bed...well I have so I was hoping this place really looked liked the pictures online, and it was close enough. It was extremely spacious, about the size of our first house and had everything we needed. We beached it up almost the entire 5 days. I have always been a sun baby, for those of you that have known me since Summit Middle School days I practically lived at Tan and Tone America, sadly those days are over and I got extremely sunburned and my back looks like a reptile that is losing its old skin. No, I didn't use sun block like I should have...I know I did this to myself...blah blah blah...It was so uncomfortable two of the nights while trying to sleep. My body was super hot and itchy. It's all good now though and I look tan (sort of).
If you have ever been to the beach with kids you know you have A LOT more stuff to bring. Everyday we brought 2 folding chairs to sit on, an umbrella to sit under, a cooler with drinks, a beach bag with towels, sunblock, etc and all of Hud's sand toys (truck, shovel, pail, wheel barrow, sifter). This is where Jorge's other shout out is. Jorge carried all of that stuff EVERYDAY. I mean I carried the beach bag but I also had 18 pound Mia to carry too. So thanks babe, I LOVE you for that!
But if you have seen some of the pictures on FB you know the kids had a blast and that makes it all worth it. Mia had on SPF 50, her sunhat and clothes the entire time while sitting under an umbrella (we didn't want our white chocolate to get sunburned). She did escape though and crawl all over the beach and play with Hud, it was so sweet. Hud on the other hand was in the water and playing with his tools and truck the entire time. He also made different friends everyday who he played with (I hope he wasn't that annoying kid that every adult wishes would leave their child alone). Even if he was I won't admit it. He was entertained and enjoying himself, that's all that matters. And our little brown nugget came back even browner (he's definitely half Mexican).
When we weren't at the beach we went to Gulfarium, a very miniature Sea World without the rides, an arcade (where Hud won about 300 tickets), and a restaurant, Fuddpuckers with live alligators you could feed. We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves and it was nice to take a vacation with just the 4 of us.
We left at about 8:00 Thursday morning to head home. The drive home was not as quiet as the one there. Mia actually did better than Hudson. They watched a lot of Thomas the Train and we stopped in Louisiana for lunch. We pulled into our driveway about 9:30 that night, both kids sound asleep! My bed never felt so good. Will the kids have any memories of Spring Break 2011, maybe not. But mommy and daddy will and we have pictures for proof!
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Friends are the family you choose
Last night I celebrated my birthday with my HHS peeps at Chuy's. There were about 13 of us partaking in adult beverages and chilled Patron shots (okay so maybe only 2 of us were taking shots...) this wasn't my best idea...but I had an amazing time! I think people were surprised to see the "drunk" Sharon, some even said I was "hilarious,"I can't remember parts of the night, but I am sure the evidence (pictures) will bring a lot of it back to me...I must admit my tolerance isn't what it use to be and my mouth gets a little dirtier when I am liquored up (sorry). Friends thought they were doing Jorge a favor by not letting my glass get empty, little do they know I passed out at 8:00 and Jorge stayed up watching T.V...I have 2 small kids and I would rather sleep then ---well you know what goes here. Women (with small children) who don't agree with me are lying.
So we arrived at Chuy's at 3:08, you can tell we are ready to start the weekend and left at 7, 7:30...that's one of the details that is still fuzzy. I told them how much I loved them and was so glad that I worked with them (you know alcohol is a truth serum).
I didn't know people loved going to work until I worked at HHS. I love going to work every day and the faculty is a huge part of that. The ones who were there last night mean more to me than they know. I enjoy their company, conversation, advice and presence. Friends are the family you choose, and I would do anything for those family members.
Some people get depressed about getting older, but I love birthdays!! Granted I am only going to be 29 (I'm still a spring chicken!). But I have accomplished a lot in 29 years and I have a lot to be thankful for. Do I have more wrinkles? Yes. Is my metabolism what it was 10 years ago? No. But I have been blessed in many ways, especially with my friends.
So, thanks everyone for taking time out of your busy lives/schedules and celebrating my special day with me. I know we all have significant others, kids, and responsibilities, but everyone came and had a drink even if it was just for a little bit. I appreciate it, and I love you all!!!
So we arrived at Chuy's at 3:08, you can tell we are ready to start the weekend and left at 7, 7:30...that's one of the details that is still fuzzy. I told them how much I loved them and was so glad that I worked with them (you know alcohol is a truth serum).
I didn't know people loved going to work until I worked at HHS. I love going to work every day and the faculty is a huge part of that. The ones who were there last night mean more to me than they know. I enjoy their company, conversation, advice and presence. Friends are the family you choose, and I would do anything for those family members.
Some people get depressed about getting older, but I love birthdays!! Granted I am only going to be 29 (I'm still a spring chicken!). But I have accomplished a lot in 29 years and I have a lot to be thankful for. Do I have more wrinkles? Yes. Is my metabolism what it was 10 years ago? No. But I have been blessed in many ways, especially with my friends.
So, thanks everyone for taking time out of your busy lives/schedules and celebrating my special day with me. I know we all have significant others, kids, and responsibilities, but everyone came and had a drink even if it was just for a little bit. I appreciate it, and I love you all!!!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Weight for Sex
According to my Fitness magazine 51% of women say they'd skip sex for a year if it meant they'd be skinny. The rest would rather have great sex and be about 3o pounds overweight. I am with the majority on this one ( I don't think Jorge likes that)...What's really ironic is that when we were dating I weighed 30 more pounds than I do now and we had A LOT more sex...coincidence?? You tell me.
I don't really know why I started running a few months ago and being "addicted" to fitness, but I will tell you that maintaining this lifestyle is a bitch. I hope I'm not making you think it's easy because it is far from it. I try to run 6 days a week and now if I slip to 5 I don't feel too guilty(notice I said too guilty), but it has to be at least 5. Pretending that my carrot sticks are Cheetos and my ground turkey burger is a juicy burger from Fuddruckers isn't a fun game to play either. I have lost weight and I don't want that weight to find me again for many reasons, Spring Break is a reason, family reunion in June is another reason, floating the river for my friend's 30th in July is another good reason...wearing a bathing suit seems to be the theme in all of these events, then there's 3 months of summer where I'll be taking the kids to pools and waterparks...damn you Jillian Michaels!!
Before I eat something I think I shouldn't or try to skip working out I think to myself, WWJMD, and it motivates me to turn on that 6 week 6 pack or run a little further. I told Jorge the other day maintaining this lifestyle is "for the birds" and I asked him how Jillian and all those other trainers do it? He said, "babe this is their life, that's all they do." It really put it in perspective for me. This is their full time job. I have a full time job and children, that's the difference.
Another thing that Fitness magazine said this month, "what you weigh isn't as important as what you fit into. 65% of women say the size they wear is a bigger deal than the number on the scale". I agree with the majority on this one too. I use to have a magic number that I was trying to reach, but going down in pant size was more exciting and rewarding. To me feeling good in my clothes is more rewarding then achieving that magic number.
I won't give up on working out and trying to eat better. I know it's hard. But when you think about wanting to give up just ask yourself but WWSGD and keep kicking ass!!
I don't really know why I started running a few months ago and being "addicted" to fitness, but I will tell you that maintaining this lifestyle is a bitch. I hope I'm not making you think it's easy because it is far from it. I try to run 6 days a week and now if I slip to 5 I don't feel too guilty(notice I said too guilty), but it has to be at least 5. Pretending that my carrot sticks are Cheetos and my ground turkey burger is a juicy burger from Fuddruckers isn't a fun game to play either. I have lost weight and I don't want that weight to find me again for many reasons, Spring Break is a reason, family reunion in June is another reason, floating the river for my friend's 30th in July is another good reason...wearing a bathing suit seems to be the theme in all of these events, then there's 3 months of summer where I'll be taking the kids to pools and waterparks...damn you Jillian Michaels!!
Before I eat something I think I shouldn't or try to skip working out I think to myself, WWJMD, and it motivates me to turn on that 6 week 6 pack or run a little further. I told Jorge the other day maintaining this lifestyle is "for the birds" and I asked him how Jillian and all those other trainers do it? He said, "babe this is their life, that's all they do." It really put it in perspective for me. This is their full time job. I have a full time job and children, that's the difference.
Another thing that Fitness magazine said this month, "what you weigh isn't as important as what you fit into. 65% of women say the size they wear is a bigger deal than the number on the scale". I agree with the majority on this one too. I use to have a magic number that I was trying to reach, but going down in pant size was more exciting and rewarding. To me feeling good in my clothes is more rewarding then achieving that magic number.
I won't give up on working out and trying to eat better. I know it's hard. But when you think about wanting to give up just ask yourself but WWSGD and keep kicking ass!!
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Lover's Lane
Jorge had roses delivered to me at work circa 2006, I saw the credit card bill ($89), and I told him never to do that again...well he heard me loud and clear. I don't think I ever received roses after that on Valentine's Day. I think I said something like, "do you know what we could buy for $89, those roses are going to die in a few days..are you crazy!?" I have never been a fan of V-day, chocolates, roses, balloons, who needs all that crap? Can't you just be romantic 365 days a year instead of one?? I always thought Valentine's Day was a pointless, silly, not really a holiday holiday until yesterday.
We have been together for 7 years and have 2 small children, so you can imagine the romance in our relationship, or lack there of. We have become parents and have lost some of the luster in our relationship. It's all about the kids and changing diapers and feeding them and playing trains and goo goos and gaas gaas with the baby.
But yesterday was an exception, a wonderful, must needed exception. I came home and Jorge had 3 beautiful pink roses waiting for me on the counter (I thought this was my present), but no he had also bought me bath beads and a bottle of wine and a new MP3 player (my old one held 1 GB, this one holds 16). I don't have to listen to the same 4 CDS (J-Tims, Britney, BEPS, Pink) I have been listening to since 2005 when he bought me my other one. I get to jam to my new favs like Kesha, Chris Brown, Rhianna and Katy Perry!!
We put the kids to bed and took a bath with our Jasmine salts while drinking our Pinot Grigio, talking, just the 2 of us...adult conversation is PRICELESS. Connecting with your spouse, remembering why you fell in love all over again...AWW it was amazing. He told me I was sexy and made me feel like a princess.
I kept thinking someone had kidnapped my husband, what had gotten into him? Who was this man? I am not complaining, I loved every minute. Who knew you could have such an amazing time without even leaving the house. I loved last night!! The only bad part is now I have something to compare all the future Valentine's days to. Sorry about that babe-I love you, Jorge Giovanni, so much! Thank you for a priceless evening!
We have been together for 7 years and have 2 small children, so you can imagine the romance in our relationship, or lack there of. We have become parents and have lost some of the luster in our relationship. It's all about the kids and changing diapers and feeding them and playing trains and goo goos and gaas gaas with the baby.
But yesterday was an exception, a wonderful, must needed exception. I came home and Jorge had 3 beautiful pink roses waiting for me on the counter (I thought this was my present), but no he had also bought me bath beads and a bottle of wine and a new MP3 player (my old one held 1 GB, this one holds 16). I don't have to listen to the same 4 CDS (J-Tims, Britney, BEPS, Pink) I have been listening to since 2005 when he bought me my other one. I get to jam to my new favs like Kesha, Chris Brown, Rhianna and Katy Perry!!
We put the kids to bed and took a bath with our Jasmine salts while drinking our Pinot Grigio, talking, just the 2 of us...adult conversation is PRICELESS. Connecting with your spouse, remembering why you fell in love all over again...AWW it was amazing. He told me I was sexy and made me feel like a princess.
I kept thinking someone had kidnapped my husband, what had gotten into him? Who was this man? I am not complaining, I loved every minute. Who knew you could have such an amazing time without even leaving the house. I loved last night!! The only bad part is now I have something to compare all the future Valentine's days to. Sorry about that babe-I love you, Jorge Giovanni, so much! Thank you for a priceless evening!
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Workin' on my fitness
I have never been an athletic person. I played softball from 4th-8th grade (I don't recall being that great) and tried other sports (b-ball, track, and pom during my middle school years and wasn't good at those either. Then in 7th grade I became really skinny and lanky w/o much effort ( I didn't realize what a blessing it was until recently). Then I easily put the weight on with bad eating/drinking habits and not much physical activity (it's easier to do that the older you get and the worse your metabolism becomes). I didn't even realize I was heavy until I looked back at old pictures. The motivation to lose the weight came with, "will you marry me?"
Since getting married I have been about the same size, give or take 5 lbs. But I haven't been strong, cut, or even in that great of shape. After having Mia, I wanted to be a M.I.L.F. I know that is a horrible expression, but I don't know how else to describe it. I wanted people to see me and think, she has 2 kids, damn hot momma!! ( I have to be honest, right?)
So, since I had the go ahead from my doctor I started running (about 7 weeks post partum). Mia is now 8 months old, so let's say I have been running for about 6 months and I freaking LOVE it!!! Not only do I feel better as a person, but I look better to. I have gone down 2 sizes and I have more energy than ever. I wake up every day and I want to run. Some people think it's weird, or I'm "obsessed," but those people don't work out, so they don't understand the high you get from it. I'm not a fast runner nor do I run 10 miles a day. But I run about 2.5-3 a day and I am trying to gradually get better.
A girlfriend of mine told me about Jillian Michael's 30 day shred video and at first level one was impossible and now I am on level 2. It's intense, but in a good way and she really motivates you to keep going. Hopefully, I will eventually advance to level 3. I also bought her 6 week 6 pack video and it is sick!! I have only done it twice and it is damn near impossible. If you can make it to 6 weeks you should have a 6 pack, but making it there is the hard part. That J.M is a bad ass!! There are no other words to describe her. She is freakishly strong and a great motivator. I love her videos even if they feel impossible.
I don't expect to get a 6 pack from her video ( I would settle for a 4-(j/k), but I do expect to get stronger and have a better core. I want to live a long time and be healthier person for myself and my kids.
If this motivates just one reader to be a better "you" then I have done my job. If you want to be a healthier person it is never to late to start. Take baby steps, walking becomes jogging and jogging becomes running. I never thought I could run and now I can't stop. I hope to do a half marathon this year and a full marathon in the near future (baby steps). It's hard to wear so many "hats," daughter, sister, friend, wife, mother...take time for yourself, you won't regret it.
Since getting married I have been about the same size, give or take 5 lbs. But I haven't been strong, cut, or even in that great of shape. After having Mia, I wanted to be a M.I.L.F. I know that is a horrible expression, but I don't know how else to describe it. I wanted people to see me and think, she has 2 kids, damn hot momma!! ( I have to be honest, right?)
So, since I had the go ahead from my doctor I started running (about 7 weeks post partum). Mia is now 8 months old, so let's say I have been running for about 6 months and I freaking LOVE it!!! Not only do I feel better as a person, but I look better to. I have gone down 2 sizes and I have more energy than ever. I wake up every day and I want to run. Some people think it's weird, or I'm "obsessed," but those people don't work out, so they don't understand the high you get from it. I'm not a fast runner nor do I run 10 miles a day. But I run about 2.5-3 a day and I am trying to gradually get better.
A girlfriend of mine told me about Jillian Michael's 30 day shred video and at first level one was impossible and now I am on level 2. It's intense, but in a good way and she really motivates you to keep going. Hopefully, I will eventually advance to level 3. I also bought her 6 week 6 pack video and it is sick!! I have only done it twice and it is damn near impossible. If you can make it to 6 weeks you should have a 6 pack, but making it there is the hard part. That J.M is a bad ass!! There are no other words to describe her. She is freakishly strong and a great motivator. I love her videos even if they feel impossible.
I don't expect to get a 6 pack from her video ( I would settle for a 4-(j/k), but I do expect to get stronger and have a better core. I want to live a long time and be healthier person for myself and my kids.
If this motivates just one reader to be a better "you" then I have done my job. If you want to be a healthier person it is never to late to start. Take baby steps, walking becomes jogging and jogging becomes running. I never thought I could run and now I can't stop. I hope to do a half marathon this year and a full marathon in the near future (baby steps). It's hard to wear so many "hats," daughter, sister, friend, wife, mother...take time for yourself, you won't regret it.
Friday, January 28, 2011
The Invisible Mother
Got this in an email and loved it, wanted to share...
The Invisible Mother
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'
Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this??
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'
Some days I'm a crystal ball; 'Where's my other sock?, Where's my phone?, What's for dinner?' I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history, music and literature -but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. She had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: 1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. 2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. 3) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. 4) The passion of their building was fuelled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was Almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, no Cub Scout meeting, no last minute errand is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, he'd say, 'You're gonna love it there...' As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible mothers.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Balance
Balance...it's the hardest thing to find in my life. I think I have lost myself. I know I am not the same person I was pre-kids (for the better) but I have still lost who I am. I was a friend before I was a wife and I was a wife before I was a mother and now mother seems to be my number one role, the role that defines me.
You get married and lose a lot of your single friends because you become more of a homebody and want to spend your time as a newly-wed (lounging around the house and packing on extra weight because you're off the market now). Well it's even worse when you become a parent. You hardly ever see your friends without kids. Who wants to come to a child's birthday party when they don't have a child?? Boring! And when you're with your friends who have kids you're trading advice and asking how to get rid of a diaper rash.
There is also a feeling of guilt when you are a working mother. I work 44 hours a week and have a solid 4 hours when I get home to spend with my kids. This includes dinner time, bath time, reading time, play time, snuggle time, etc...by the time I get them to bed I am even more exhausted and I fall asleep shortly after. There have been many times where I "fake sleep" with Hudson and wake up the next morning still in his bed. Where is the Sharon time in my day? It's when I run. I love to run and just jam to my music and have alone time, Sharon time.
Do I miss going out on the weekends or grabbing a beer during happy hour? You betcha! I went out on Friday after work for a friend's birthday and felt guilty that I wasn't home with the kids. It's horrible that I feel that way. I should embrace the girl time. It was so fun to go out with adults, I haven't done that without my kids since...well I can't even remember.
I work because I have to. I work because I love to. Could I be a SAHM? I don't know, I don't have that option so I have never really thought about it. My mom was a SAHM, so that is what I saw growing up. But we are 2 very different people. I am a very independent person and love going to a job everyday that I LOVE! I love knowing that I help support my family, it is very satisfying. If (God forbid) something did happen to Jorge, I could support me and the kids and a lot of women can't say that.
I was talking to a wise friend about balance last week and she said, "Sharon don't lose who you are." It's so easy to have small children and put them before everything else. But I have to remember I wouldn't be a mother without Jorge and I wouldn't have met Jorge without having friends. So it comes back full circle.
For all you mothers out there, please take time for yourself without feeling guilty. Enjoy a day at the spa, or a matinee movie, or a beer with the girls. You work very hard and deserve to pamper yourself. I will try to take my own advice.
You get married and lose a lot of your single friends because you become more of a homebody and want to spend your time as a newly-wed (lounging around the house and packing on extra weight because you're off the market now). Well it's even worse when you become a parent. You hardly ever see your friends without kids. Who wants to come to a child's birthday party when they don't have a child?? Boring! And when you're with your friends who have kids you're trading advice and asking how to get rid of a diaper rash.
There is also a feeling of guilt when you are a working mother. I work 44 hours a week and have a solid 4 hours when I get home to spend with my kids. This includes dinner time, bath time, reading time, play time, snuggle time, etc...by the time I get them to bed I am even more exhausted and I fall asleep shortly after. There have been many times where I "fake sleep" with Hudson and wake up the next morning still in his bed. Where is the Sharon time in my day? It's when I run. I love to run and just jam to my music and have alone time, Sharon time.
Do I miss going out on the weekends or grabbing a beer during happy hour? You betcha! I went out on Friday after work for a friend's birthday and felt guilty that I wasn't home with the kids. It's horrible that I feel that way. I should embrace the girl time. It was so fun to go out with adults, I haven't done that without my kids since...well I can't even remember.
I work because I have to. I work because I love to. Could I be a SAHM? I don't know, I don't have that option so I have never really thought about it. My mom was a SAHM, so that is what I saw growing up. But we are 2 very different people. I am a very independent person and love going to a job everyday that I LOVE! I love knowing that I help support my family, it is very satisfying. If (God forbid) something did happen to Jorge, I could support me and the kids and a lot of women can't say that.
I was talking to a wise friend about balance last week and she said, "Sharon don't lose who you are." It's so easy to have small children and put them before everything else. But I have to remember I wouldn't be a mother without Jorge and I wouldn't have met Jorge without having friends. So it comes back full circle.
For all you mothers out there, please take time for yourself without feeling guilty. Enjoy a day at the spa, or a matinee movie, or a beer with the girls. You work very hard and deserve to pamper yourself. I will try to take my own advice.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Baby come back
I can't believe Mia will be 8 months in just 12 short days. I couldn't wait for her to start sleeping through the night and now I feel she sleeps "too much." In the past 6 weeks she has started sleeping through the night, crawling, getting her first bottom teeth, and saying "da-da." OMG-where is my baby Mia?? I longed for the newborn stage to end and now I am buying her Gerber snacks that have a "crawler" icon on them.
My heart is saddened. Mainly because this might be the last child I have...I might never hold a naked newborn against my chest "skin to skin" as the doctors call it, or experience that close bond during breast feeding. I know I could have another child and believe me Jorge and I have gone back and forth through the pros and cons...Pros-becoming a mother again to a beautiful baby. Cons-$$, being pregnant, getting pre-pregnant body back, no sleep...well you can see which list is getting longer.
So, for all of you pregnant mothers out there ENJOY it! Being pregnant is the easy part and it only lasts 9 months, being a mother is the difficult part and it lasts forever.
Don't wish the months away, enjoy the sleepless nights and the blob stage where your baby can do nothing but lay there. Now Mia is crawling and I can't take my eyes off her. She is mobile. I blinked and this happened.
Kiss your babies, stare into their beautiful eyes, tickle their tiny toes, grab their little hands and LOVE them, unconditionally. Be sure to thank God if they are healthy and ask God to give you the strength if they are not.
My heart is saddened. Mainly because this might be the last child I have...I might never hold a naked newborn against my chest "skin to skin" as the doctors call it, or experience that close bond during breast feeding. I know I could have another child and believe me Jorge and I have gone back and forth through the pros and cons...Pros-becoming a mother again to a beautiful baby. Cons-$$, being pregnant, getting pre-pregnant body back, no sleep...well you can see which list is getting longer.
So, for all of you pregnant mothers out there ENJOY it! Being pregnant is the easy part and it only lasts 9 months, being a mother is the difficult part and it lasts forever.
Don't wish the months away, enjoy the sleepless nights and the blob stage where your baby can do nothing but lay there. Now Mia is crawling and I can't take my eyes off her. She is mobile. I blinked and this happened.
Kiss your babies, stare into their beautiful eyes, tickle their tiny toes, grab their little hands and LOVE them, unconditionally. Be sure to thank God if they are healthy and ask God to give you the strength if they are not.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Dear Vagina,
Actually I don't want to write to my 28 year old vagina, I am trying to summon my 25 year old vagina ( The one I enjoyed, the "pre-baby" vagina). I know I will never find you, but I just have to write this letter. Let's start over,
Dear 25 year old vagina,
It has been almost 4 years and I miss you more than you know. At 25 you had periods like clockwork. They came at the same time every single month and lasted 2-3 days. I took you for granted and I am sorry. Now, since having Mia I don't even recognise you. Every mom that has had a vaginal delivery knows that you can bleed for weeks after having a baby. If you're lucky like I was about 4-5 weeks. If that wasn't bad enough I went and got my IUD inserted 8 weeks post-partum and my "period' started up again. It wasn't heavy enough for a pad but definitely required wearing a panty liner. And just when you thought you didn't need to wear one, SURPRISE, you ruined yet another pair of your favorite underwear.
The following is a real conversation:
Me: "Um, hello I am calling because I got my IUD 2 months ago and I am still spotting."
Nurse: "Oh yes, that is completely "normal". It takes awhile for the hormones to get regulated in your body."
Me: "So, how long might this last"?
Nurse: "It could be months."
Me: "So, when should I start to worry...6 months?"
Nurse:"Well, if you are still spotting in 6 months give us a call."
Hang up---
What the HELL?? Seriously? 6 months? I thought one of the pros of breast feeding was not having a period. GEEZ!
So, that wonderfulness stopped and now I am suffering because I didn't do my kegel exercises (an exercise that strengthens your pelvic muscles). If you don't know what these are please google them now. Did you google them?
No, I didn't do kegel exercises. After Hudson, no problemo...after Mia I do a jumping jack and I wish I was wearing a pad. Do they make Depends for women in their 20's? This is out of control! Men don't have to experience any of this!! They have a penis. They pee with it and have sex with it. Are there any other functions for that thing?
What is my newest dilemma? Well, I just stopped breast feeding Mia. So I haven't had a "real" period in 16+ months. So, when it finally starts again I am sure I will become anemic because of losing so much blood. My OBGYN told me that my period would be even heavier since I was breast feeding at the time I got my IUD inserted.
Wow! When should I start celebrating this? Vagina, I miss you. For all of you out there with a "pre-baby" vagina don't take her for granted.
Dear 25 year old vagina,
It has been almost 4 years and I miss you more than you know. At 25 you had periods like clockwork. They came at the same time every single month and lasted 2-3 days. I took you for granted and I am sorry. Now, since having Mia I don't even recognise you. Every mom that has had a vaginal delivery knows that you can bleed for weeks after having a baby. If you're lucky like I was about 4-5 weeks. If that wasn't bad enough I went and got my IUD inserted 8 weeks post-partum and my "period' started up again. It wasn't heavy enough for a pad but definitely required wearing a panty liner. And just when you thought you didn't need to wear one, SURPRISE, you ruined yet another pair of your favorite underwear.
The following is a real conversation:
Me: "Um, hello I am calling because I got my IUD 2 months ago and I am still spotting."
Nurse: "Oh yes, that is completely "normal". It takes awhile for the hormones to get regulated in your body."
Me: "So, how long might this last"?
Nurse: "It could be months."
Me: "So, when should I start to worry...6 months?"
Nurse:"Well, if you are still spotting in 6 months give us a call."
Hang up---
What the HELL?? Seriously? 6 months? I thought one of the pros of breast feeding was not having a period. GEEZ!
So, that wonderfulness stopped and now I am suffering because I didn't do my kegel exercises (an exercise that strengthens your pelvic muscles). If you don't know what these are please google them now. Did you google them?
No, I didn't do kegel exercises. After Hudson, no problemo...after Mia I do a jumping jack and I wish I was wearing a pad. Do they make Depends for women in their 20's? This is out of control! Men don't have to experience any of this!! They have a penis. They pee with it and have sex with it. Are there any other functions for that thing?
What is my newest dilemma? Well, I just stopped breast feeding Mia. So I haven't had a "real" period in 16+ months. So, when it finally starts again I am sure I will become anemic because of losing so much blood. My OBGYN told me that my period would be even heavier since I was breast feeding at the time I got my IUD inserted.
Wow! When should I start celebrating this? Vagina, I miss you. For all of you out there with a "pre-baby" vagina don't take her for granted.
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