Dear Vagina,

Actually I don't want to write to my 28 year old vagina, I am trying to summon my 25 year old vagina ( The one I enjoyed, the "pre-baby" vagina). I know I will never find you, but I just have to write this letter. Let's start over,

Dear 25 year old vagina,

It has been almost 4 years and I miss you more than you know. At 25 you had periods like clockwork. They came at the same time every single month and lasted 2-3 days. I took you for granted and I am sorry. Now, since having Mia I don't even recognise you. Every mom that has had a vaginal delivery knows that you can bleed for weeks after having a baby. If you're lucky like I was about 4-5 weeks. If that wasn't bad enough I went and got my IUD inserted 8 weeks post-partum and my "period' started up again. It wasn't heavy enough for a pad but definitely required wearing a panty liner. And just when you thought you didn't need to wear one, SURPRISE, you ruined yet another pair of your favorite underwear.

The following is a real conversation:
Me: "Um, hello I am calling because I got my IUD 2 months ago and I am still spotting."
Nurse: "Oh yes, that is completely "normal". It takes awhile for the hormones to get regulated in your body."
Me: "So, how long might this last"?
Nurse: "It could be months."
Me: "So, when should I start to worry...6 months?"
Nurse:"Well, if you are still spotting in 6 months give us a call."
Hang up---

What the HELL?? Seriously? 6 months? I thought one of the pros of breast feeding was not having a period. GEEZ!
So, that wonderfulness stopped and now I am suffering because I didn't do my kegel exercises (an exercise that strengthens your pelvic muscles). If you don't know what these are please google them now. Did you google them?
No, I didn't do kegel exercises. After Hudson, no problemo...after Mia I do a jumping jack and I wish I was wearing a pad. Do they make Depends for women in their 20's? This is out of control! Men don't have to experience any of this!! They have a penis. They pee with it and have sex with it. Are there any other functions for that thing?
What is my newest dilemma? Well, I just stopped breast feeding Mia. So I haven't had a "real" period in 16+ months. So, when it finally starts again I am sure I will become anemic because of losing so much blood. My OBGYN told me that my period would be even heavier since I was breast feeding at the time I got my IUD inserted.
Wow! When should I start celebrating this? Vagina, I miss you. For all of you out there with a "pre-baby" vagina don't take her for granted.