The Break Up

Dear alcohol,

I will never forget the first time I met you. It was April of my freshman year and I was at a party at Kyle Cody's house. My friend, J.W, and I drank an entire bottle of Sutter Home wine. That was 13 years ago and we have only grown closer. I met your other friends, beer, whiskey, margaritas, and vodka. We all become great friends too, can't really say that I had a favorite, that wouldn't be fair.
But in the last 3 years you have treated me badly and I have decided to break up with. It's not completely your fault, I am also to blame. I have been pregnant twice in the last 3 years and have never been able to get my old tolerance back.
Now when we hang out I feel like shit the next day. I am tired and sluggish and it takes me an entire day to have the energy to do anything. My metabolism also sucks as I near 30 and the phrase beer belly scares the hell out of me.
I don't enjoy you anymore like I use to. I guess like Ross said to Rachel-"we'll be on a break." This won't be a permanent thing, just until my kids can take care of themselves in the morning, or at least sleep in past 7...whichever comes first.
You will be missed, but your hangovers won't.
Sincerely,

Missing you already