Sunday, August 19, 2012

Love and Marriage?

Last Monday at work my single girl friend asked, "so how was your weekend?" I'm sure it was the standard polite question (not really wanting to hear the ear full that she did about my fight with Jorge)...but nonetheless she listened. Her reply was, "after talking with my married friends it seems like marriage is a lot of work."
After having been married for over 7 years I would have to agree.
It makes sense that marriage would be a work in progress. After all you have to figure out how to live with someone and get use to their wet towel being thrown on the floor or their dirty dishes in the sink- that they could have placed in the dishwasher that was only inches a way.
But when you're young (23) and in love you don't think about compromise or having to put someone else's needs before yours. You just know you want to spend the rest of your lives together..not really even knowing what that entails. What you end up doing is taking them for granted and not letting them know how much you love and appreciate them.
Do you think I love washing 6 loads of laundry and folding all the clothes and putting them up?....NO! Do you think he loves mowing and weed eating in 90 degree weather?....NO! So, when someone does a "chore" it's nice to acknowledge them and say thank you-or at least the "yard looks great" or "so glad my clothes are clean."
And having kids is just a whole different level. When you're married with no kids it might be easier to drop the D Bomb...but having kids makes it almost impossible. I always said I wouldn't get a divorce unless he beated or cheated, I don't think I could ever forgive those...
I can't imagine getting a divorce and having him find another women to be their "step mom." YUCK! I don't want to divide my time with the kids or share weekends.
So, when you're married you make it work, for better or for worse, right?! Do I think marriage is a work in progress? Yes. It's a lot of give and take and compromise...even when you really don't want to.
For the young and married out there:
1.Please watch your words because you can't take them back. Even when you apologize the other person is always going to remember what you said to them or what you called them.
2. Say thank you. No matter how big or small the deed was.
3. Say I love you. Morning. Noon. and Night.
4. Say I'm sorry when you know you are in the wrong.
5. Tell them they are beautiful. Not just when they are dressed up, but when they wake up at 5 AM and haven't put their make up on.
6. Tell them you need them and couldn't imagine your life without them..who doesn't want to feel needed?
7. Never go to bed angry. No one knows when our last day on Earth is. Why take the chance?


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